A Practical Guide to Giving (and Receiving) Wine

There is a topic that has been on my mind for quite some time now, and I thought I would bring it up to try to get some feedback from the crowd. What should a host/hostess do when a guest brings a bottle of wine? Serve it that evening, store it for a later time, or maybe even re-gift it? I’ve done a bit of research on the topic, and there is of course a clear answer from the “experts”. According to Judith Martin (Miss Manners) and Emily Post (from Emily Post’s Guide on Etiquette)...

“A host is not required to use the wine that a guest brings that evening.”

So, there’s your answer.

Personally, I don’t think it’s that simple. If it were, I’d be bringing Chucky Shaw to every gathering I go to, and cross my fingers that it’s not opened. But it’s not that simple, and I don’t drink Charles Shaw (unless I’m at my parents’ home and need it to get through the night – just kidding, Mom & Dad!). This topic got a lot of interest on other such threads, so if you’re interested in other opinions, check out these stories from chowhound.com and answers.yahoo.com.

Here’s the rub…I love to experience new wines, and often times more than many of my friends do. So, I’ll head to my local wine shop and get a mixed case, usually with a special bottle or two. I’ll get excited about one of those bottles and then bring it over to a friend’s house for dinner hoping (and sometimes expecting) that it will be opened that evening. I always present the wine to the host/hostess, so it is certainly given as a gift. However, in those situations, I usually describe it and try to hint that we should “experience” it together. Some friends get the hint…others don’t. And when they don’t, I leave pissed…especially when they open unimaginative wines that we’ve had a million times before. I really shouldn’t be upset…I was a guest at someone’s home and probably had a wonderful meal that they worked hard to put together. Except I’m me, and I leave pissed. On some occasions, though, the host won’t open my gift wine, but will open even more interesting wines instead. I feel good about these situations since I got to enjoy other special wines and I left a “real gift” in return.

And then there’s the flip side of the equation…when guests bring wine to your dinner or gathering. I don’t want to offend my guest by not opening his/her wine, but I also don’t want to serve my guests swill. The way I handle it is to always ask about the wine to gauge the situation. The answer will usually provide you with the right course of action. Gracious guests will usually say that they don’t mind either way. If I know it’s a “good” and/or expensive bottle, I always try to serve it (and usually decant it immediately to let the guest know how I appreciative I am), unless I am told otherwise. One of our best friends consistently brings over amazing wine (or multiple bottles of “get drunk” wine…which certainly also has its place)…sometimes he’ll bring a bottle that needs to be aged for a couple of years, and he’ll tell me so up front. In these cases, I try my best to keep track of the bottle and then open it up with the guest that originally brought it. The “swill” situation is usually solved easily as well…open the bottle very late into the evening. Nobody cares about wine quality at that point, and the guest is usually thrilled that you opened his/her bottle, regardless of the time of evening. Even though wine is given as a gift, it is my opinion that if a guest put thought and/or significant money into buying it, that it should be served that evening, almost regardless of the food that is being served (you can almost always find a dish or time of the night that might "pair" well with a particular wine). In the most rare situation that it is not practical or even possible to open a particular bottle in an evening (due to the high number of bottles brought by guests, etc.), I try my best to thank the guest and make them know that it is truly appreciated even if not opened.

Back to the giving scenario…I’ve got 4 easy rules to remember, and hopefully you’ll minimize those “pissed off” evenings. So, here they are:

1. At any dinner gathering or party, always bring one or more bottles of wine (unless told specifically otherwise).
2. Marketing 101: understand your target market. You know most of your friends and can probably figure out if you should bring a “decent” bottle or not. For unknown situations, hedge your bets. I usually bring a favorite bottle of reasonably priced wine that I know and trust (examples: Seghesio Sonoma County Zinfandel - $18, Honig Sauvignon Blanc - $14, or a less than $20 bottle of foreign wine such as the Juan Gil Monastrell - $16 and a beautiful label). If it is not enjoyed that night, there is absolutely no loss to you, and when the wine is opened at a later time by the host, they will be sure to enjoy it.
3. On the chance that you bring a bottle into an unknown situation and you went out of your way to bring a wine to be experienced, don’t be shy to tell them so. If they don’t open it that night, pray that they serve something as good or better. If not, leave pissed and bring them a bottle of Charles Shaw the next time around (I’m kidding – next time, see point #2 and bring a decent standby).
4. For special occasions (Thanksgiving, Christmas dinner, etc.), splurge and bring a nice bottle. Period. Set your expectations beforehand that the host will not open it, and that it is a true gift for the occasion. If the bottle is opened, great. If not, don’t let it get to you since it is almost certain that the host has gone out of their way to make an extraordinary meal.

The bottom line is that food and wine are expensive these days, and if you attend a dinner party, odds are that the hosts have spent a good amount of time and money to make sure that their guests leave satisfied. Enjoy yourselves regardless if your gift wine is opened or not. In the rare case of situation #3 above, don’t make the same mistake twice. That’s probably the best that you can do.

What do you think?

Santa Barbara Wine Country - "Sideways" indeed

Freakishly tasty Danish pastries in Solvang, along with the natural beauty of the Santa Barbara coastline and a great meal at the Los Olivos Café salvaged a fairly disappointing wine tasting excursion to Southern California’s wine (scratch that) “Sideways” country. As a small business owner myself, I fully understand the need to take advantage of certain opportunities to better your business. I fear that the post-Sideways movie commercialization of the wineries that I visited are taking a bit of a short-sighted approach to their business, though. Unfortunately, my expectation of family run, laid back wineries was not fulfilled, and the reality of financially-driven marketing machines is firmly entrenched in Santa Barbara wine country.

To be fair, I only visited 4 wineries during my visit: Fess Parker, Curtis, Roblar, and Gainey. It may not be right to judge an entire region based on this initial experience, and I also don’t want to be over-dramatic about it (although that is my tendency). Los Olivos is a surprisingly beautiful little town, which I am sincerely hoping to visit again in the near future. There are also many excellent wines coming out of the region at often times quite reasonable prices for the quality level. One such wine that surprised us was a young Pinot Noir from Carr Winery that we had during lunch at Los Olivos Café. It was a great wine (and ~$30 retail if I remember correctly) and complemented my coq au vin perfectly (doesn’t Rooster Fricassee sound so sophisticated?).

The major problem that I had with the 4 wineries I visited was the tasting fee that each demanded. $10 per tasting per person. OUCH! Now don’t get me wrong, I understand the economics of a tasting room and the need to charge a tasting fee in some circumstances. And I am certainly willing to pay for a glass of wine, or the equivalent over a flight of tastes (I do this all too often). However, when each pour is controlled by a mechanism that only allows for a mouthful (maybe two) and there are only 4 or 5 tastes total in the flight, $10 is certainly overkill. On top of that, most, if not all of the wines being offered in the tasting are less than $30/bottle. So, let’s do some simple conservative math…5 tastings with 2 mouthfuls each = 10 mouthfuls. I would estimate that this equates to maybe ½ a glass…but probably less. By my superior math skills, I conclude tht $10 should get me at least 1-2 full glasses (1/3-1/2 of a bottle)!!! In addition, the tasting room is really a sales vehicle, and in my opinion the fee should be waived or discounted upon making a purchase since the cost of each bottle of wine includes appropriate margin to cover some level of sales & marketing costs. So, $40 poorer after a half day of wine tasting and not even a decent buzz to show for it.

Oh wait, I forgot to mention that the tasting fee pays for a souvenir wine glass (some were of quite high quality, actually) with each winery’s logo on the side. These glasses are great for clueless Midwestern housewives that want to show off to their friends when they return from their vacation so that they can inevitably drink White Zin out of them during their Tupperware parties. However, for those of us who don’t necessarily want to bring home wineries’ marketing trinkets, I’d say the included wine glass is part of the sham.

Off the milk crate…

The best of the 4 wineries visited was Curtis Winery. Their wines were all quite good and very reasonably priced. Roblar Winery had a beautiful tasting room (which we are of course helping to pay for through our tasting fee contribution). Fess Parker had a decent Pinot, but everything else was quite depressing…even the gentleman pouring wine for us. The last winery that we visited, Gainey, was so bad that I had a heck of a time even remembering its name.

I’m a sobered wine fan who is now yearning to give the Santa Barbara area a second chance. I’ll be more prepared next time and will do the necessary research to make sure that the experience will be better. Visiting wineries like Sanford, where I’m pretty much certain that I’ll enjoy the wine and the overall experience, will certainly help improve my outlook. Overall, though, it continues to be a sad commentary on the wine industry when most wineries these days have forgotten why people enjoy drinking wine and visiting the source of it. The fun for me is finding the not so well known nooks and crannies of the different regions…hopefully next time I’ll be able to let you know about a couple of great exceptions in Santa Barbara wine country.